Tackling Body Confidence

For years I look at myself and just fill my thoughts with hate. Stopping seeing yourself negatively is such a hard thing to achieve. For years I’ve looked at it to be wrong to love yourself, I saw people has ‘cocky’ and self obsessed. Little did I realise that one day I would wish I  had that confidence and I wish I never saw them the way I did. Confidence is the best trait one can have. Hating myself won’t chnage anything, it will just drag me down. Learning to love myself is a huge challenge and it won’t happen over night it’s going to be a long process but why stick to being so unhappy when I can work on changing it.

Body Confidence is something I’ve struggled with for a long time. Learning to love how I look is challenging, currently I am not happy with my body  but instead of beating myself up about it I’m learning how to love it.

The simple numbers on the scale would hold everything to me. I would determine how good I looked due to those numbers and would classify if my weight was ‘good’ or ‘bad’. I would obsessively weigh myself and allow the number to determine my mood for the day. No matter how I was feeling before or what I actually looked like it was that number that mattered to me. Even 1/2lb would bother me, if I wasn’t what I wanted I saw myself as fat. There would be no change in how my body looked. After weighing myself at least twice a day I think it’s time to ditch the sales. The number means nothing, We’ve all seen those photos when people actually look better heavier, that’s why I need to start doing. Instead you judging my body on a stupid number, it’s time to judge my body on how I feel. Its irrelevant. Don’t judge yourself through that, look in the mirror and use how your feeling to determine whether you are fit or not.

Instagram accounts have become my worst nightmare, I follow around 10 of them and they are becoming toxic. It’s full of girls standing with their skinny tea with the waistrainer on. Neither of these things are healthy and it’s promoting young girls with the wrong idea that you can just use them to magically become fit. I’m fed up of looking at girls with toned bodies that I’m never going to achieve. Yes I want to achieve the best body I can, but we are all different and my body shape naturally isn’t the same as theirs. So why am aspiring to be something I can’t? It’s pointless and leads to unnecessary negativity, that makes me body shame myself. After seeing one of these I would then see myself as ‘fat’ and constantly compare myself to them.We are all different for a reason, don’t aspire to be or look like someone else, because lets face it you’re never going to be like them. You are you, you’re an individual and we are all different for a reason. Don’t use other people as goals, be your own goals, just aspire to be the best version of yourself you can be.

From 4 months of studying at university I’ve learnt so much more about health, wellbeing and fitness. These have all lead to me rethinking about my own body confidence. I haven’t been able to exercise for over 6 months. It’s made me hate my body even more as although there has been a small change, to me I hate everything and I feel as if I’ve put on so much weight when I reality I’ve put on almost none. In my head I hate what I see as I can’t do anything to change it. Exercise is so key for you,obviously it improves your physical fitness but what many people don’t know it helps you mentally so much. You release hormones endorphins and basically they just make you feel happy and reduce depression and anxiety, so as well as feeling physically fitter you can also mentally feel better and learn to love yourself.

When I was working out at least five times a week I was swimming in confidence. There wasn’t much change to my body but I felt I was doing something to it and therefor in my head it was better. I would start to look at myself in the mirror and tell myself I look good today. Telling myself this slowly over and over actually made me believe it. I never had to tell myself it anymore I just felt it. I started to look in the mirror and like how I look, I would not only feel more confident I would also feel happy and just overall more positive. Unfortunately since being unable to exercise my confidence has plummeted and I hate myself over and over again. Instead of hating something I can’t help, I’m learning to love who I am. I’m not in the best shape I’ve ever bee it but I’m in the best shape for my situation. Don’t get this confused with making excuses, being fit or happy isn’t about time or money. It’s about what you can do and if your doing it, it’s about learning to love what you got, because you’re always better off than someone.

I no longer want to look like someone else as I’ve come to terms with the fact that I am never going to be them. I am an individual and so are you, we are ourselves, so lets be who the hell we want to be. I don’t care about what anyone thinks about my body anymore, because you know what, I’m the only person with this body so I’m going to wear it with pride.

Love yourself for you. Be happy for you, because you are amazing, and no one else is you.

H xxx

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  1. I agree with focusing on what your body can do rather than how it looks. I use to do daily yoga ( need to start doing it more often) – and I loved being able to hold a pose for longer than last time or get into a pose I previously couldn’t get into. It made me realise I was getting more stronger and flexible. Which in my opinion is way better than seeing the superficial results that may take longer to notice. Don;t get me wrong those are great, but they shouldn’t be the main focus. It’s so good to see you are at a point where you are loving yourself. I have come to a point in my fitness journey where I am happy with my body. Yes I still have some flab to lose and I definitely need to tone. But that doesn’t mean my body isn’t great. I love this mentality as I feel so confident in my body. Thankyou for sharing

    Sarah’s Abode -xx

    1. wow I loved this comment. Your right. Loving your body for what it can do is so much greater. Love your positivity !

  2. I stopped going on Instagram for a hike due to the unrealistic body images!!! I never used to have body issues until I saw the super skinny women or women with tiny waist on instagram. We need to promote more body positive images while advocating for a healthy lifestyle…not a quick scheme for a smaller waist. Good post and thanks for visiting my blog!

  3. Oh I completely agree with you!! Instagram accounts like that are the absolute worst! It just makes you feel so low sometimes, and weirdly enough I am at the exact same stage as you. I am starting to accept that I am who I am, and of course I love a odd pancake and a donut! And why the hell shouldn’t I?? I enjoy life WITH FOOD, instead of refraining from the food that makes me happy! I get that it makes you feel better with exercise, because it does for me too! I completely feel you and its hard when you are unable to, but you have the right attitude though. I am never happy with my body, but at the end of the day – you have one life, confidence is absolutely KEY! You and I will get there, just it comes with time (but with your attitude you are half way there!) So go girl! Woah, sorry I waffled -need to just check I actually half made sense! xx

  4. I used to be the same! I’m still not happy about my body, and injuries don’t help when you hate what you look like or how much you weigh. But I’m doing something to change that and hopefully my confidence will grow! I also haven’t stepped on a scale for 3 years now and it’s the best thing I’ve ever done! Scales should be all burnt in a big fire!! X

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