Knowing when to leave a relationship

This is a post I never thought I would write. I do love a personal post every now and again but to me this one was a little different. However, recently I received a lovely email about how my How to be Single post had really helped someone. Since reading the email I really considered writing this post over and over again. After a lot a deliberating I thought if I could even just help one person again it would be worth it.

Now relationships are great but unfortunately sometimes they just don’t work no matter how hard you try you just can’t fix it. It’s not anyone’s fault and equally both people are lovely but it just wasn’t meant to be. I’m sure everyone has experienced this, others can leave it but some find it hard to go and end up staying for months and months. Knowing when a relationship is done is hard to come to terms with and a lot of us need to learn when to realise an end is for the better.

When there is more lows then highs. Every relationship is going to have it’s ups and downs, not everyone lives a perfect fairy tale life. But sometimes there gets a stage where it becomes too much. A relationship is mean’t to bring happiness and when it no longer does that then it’s time to leave. It’s often hard to push past it as you label it as a ‘rough patch’ or you just remind yourself of the happy times, but when you’re no longer enjoying it, it’s time to realise it’s not worth it.

Losing the trust. Trust is key for a relationship to work, when you start to lose trust and question your partner it’s not going to change. Trying to rebuild trust is so hard and often doesn’t quite work. Not having any trust will lead to argument after argument and things won’t get better. Once it’s gone there’s no going back.

When you can’t be yourself. If you feel the need to stop doing things you want to do because of your partner then it’s time for the relationship to end. A partner should be supportive of what you want to do and you shouldn’t have to change that. Equally if you feel as if you have to bring you partner to everything you shouldn’t. Yes its nice to do things together but remember you both are individuals and shouldn’t be glued together. Be your own person and don’t feel obliged to bring them everywhere.

Arguments. Now every couple argues but sometimes it gets to a point where all you do is argue and its for silly petty reasons. There’s no actual issue but as a couple you find anything to argue about. What started out as a tiny little thing now ends up with a full blown argument about something completely different. If you can’t go a day without arguing then something is clearly wrong.

Equally if you’re in a good relationship remember not every day will be perfect, sometimes you have to work through tough times to get stronger but sometimes you just can’t fix it.

H xxx

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18 Comments

  1. I 100% agree with every single point you’ve made in this Harriet. It’s so important for girls (and boys) to understand and take note of these. I find that it’s the hardest when it’s your “first love” which is totally understandable. I would say that the one thing that stood out to me (from personal experience) was the trust factor. Once the trust is broken, it’s done. I became someone I wasn’t; living with anxiety, constantly worrying, unhappy, and stressed. Just thinking about it makes me cringe. But now being in a new healthy and happy relationship opposed to my past one REALLY opened my eyes. It was like a whole new world seeing how easy it is to be with someone when you’ve found the right one! Awesome post!!!!! I hope girls or guys who are in this situation really utilize this and take action if necessary. Your happiness and sanity should always come first.

    xo, JJ

    1. Thank you for such a lovely comment Jenny! I feel you, with no trust I was so anxious about everything. I am so glad you are now happy and enjoying yourself 🙂 xx

  2. This is so great for people to read, I think all too often we’re just scared about what happens when we end a relationship, what if we don’t find anyone better? But if you don’t have trust and don’t have good times, then it’s better to be alone!

  3. Such a necessary and important post. I hope this helps many people realise what they deserve and what is right in a happy healthy relationship! I’m glad that you definitely know thv you have helped someone 💓 X

  4. This is a great post, something I would’ve needed a few years back and a post many can take into the future to help them. I’m sure this will help a lot of people.

  5. Thanks for sharing this, it’s important people know! This is a post I needed to read back in January! It took me months to break up with my ex. Literally all of the signs on here you wrote about were showing in my relationship! He used to make me feel so guilty about wanting a night on my own etc and I eventually did pluck up the courage to end it. I wrote a blog post about it a while agoe too, about guilt in a relationship 🙂

    1. Thank you:) I’m glad you did, it’s hard to do so but once you do it can feel so refreshing. Ooooh I’ll have to give that a read in a bit!

  6. I definitely agree with all the points you made and hope this will help someone out who may be in a situation like this! X

    Kate// itskaterose.com

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