Naturally in life there is always someone better. That girl that got a higher grade than you, that celebrity that you idolise, or that boy with the big house. You look at them and wish for a second your life could be like that. You wish you could look like her, be like her, have everything she has forgetting that you yourself are good enough the way you are. What many people won’t realise is that there’s probably someone like that looking that way at you. As a society we never value ourselves as enough and that’s something that needs to change.
Negativity is something that comes so naturally in me, when things go wrong I always blame myself. It was me, I messed up, didn’t do it right or quite frankly I just wasn’t good enough. Wishing I was better over and over yet to realise that I am the one pushing myself down further and further every time.
The last year has been such a challenge for me and I’ve come a hell of a long way. I’m not where I want to be yet, but I’m filling myself with positivity in hope that I will get there one day.
Relationships, wow that’s something I really suck at, my issue is I can’t let go. For some stupid reason I find comfort in people that couldn’t care less about me. When things go wrong the first thought that fills my head is why wasn’t I good enough, or what’s so much better about her than me? Why do I push myself down when in fact there’s nothing wrong with me. I am good enough and I’m so much better than that. From now on I’m not going to blame myself, I just don’t need that negativity from myself or from the other person. If they don’t want to make me happy then why the hell am I wasting my time being sad. I was never not good enough for them, in fact I was way too good for them.
If never really been someone that’s got everything going for them, I’m not super talented and I’ve never quite been that ‘girl’. For years and years I’ve kept striving to be something I would never be because I never thought I was good enough. Realising that I am good enough is going to be a real turnover (hopefully!!!). I’m still going to strive to be better and achieve, but I will not label myself as not being good enough anymore. This is the year I am going to be happy and going to be so positive.
Somethings that’s really lifted my spirits recently is getting a first in both my exams, I know I’m only in first year but this was such a huge achievement for me. I’ve never been that A grade student, never been at the top of the class or naturally so clever. So for once things being the other way round I’ve come to see that I actually can do it.
So my message to you is that you are good enough, don’t let anyone tell you or make you feel otherwise. If people don’t appreciate you then they don’t deserve you. Don’t waste your time putting everything into someone when you get nothing back. You are strong and you are independent, be your own person and be your own happiness.