How to be single

Losing someone you love is tough, trust me being dumped isn’t fun. Although the majority of the time I’m upbeat and happy a break up really effects me. Having that person in your life for so long for them just to go is hard. Having comfort in them, knowing they are there any time you need just to make you feel better. Adjusting to when they are gone is a huge change. I rely on others to help me deal with my emotions, and when they are gone I suddenly realise how fragile I am. Being by yourself is a scary thought. Something I truly have been terrified of. This shouldn’t be the case and suddenly forgotten what my own company is like or how to cheer myself up. 

As much as breakups suck, learning about yourself again is so important. Getting back onto your feet and having that feeling of individual strength. Now I know you might be far of and everything seems impossible, but this is what this times for. Instead of focusing your attention on someone else, it’s now time to be so dam selfish and put yourself first. Regrowing as a person and realising you don’t need them anymore is the best feeling. Of course they are still there in the back of your head, but you can be happy without them and don’t need them to signify your strength.

I know, it’s so hard. So many people feel safe and secure in a relationship, being alone can be strange. But what is sitting around feeling sorry for yourself about it going to do? Nothing. Don’t let it drag you down as you’re only going to feel worse. Stay busy and stay happy. Start doing more of what you love, whether that is reading, drawing, running or watching TV. If it makes you happy then do it.

The best bonus about a break up is the money saved. Think about it. No more travel expense, no more meals out, or day trips, no more presents. Just think about all that money you could save! And you know what, that thing you’ve been having your eye on for the last few months, go on treat yourself girl. There’s no longer anything to hold you back, girl you do whatever the hell you want now. Have fun, let yourself loose and enjoy life.

As cringey as it is, I’m a strong believer in everything happens for a reason. As as you feel incomplete without them. You were not meant to be and you’re one step closer to finding the one. A little bit soppy I know, but I love the thought of love and marriage. I definitely believe there is someone out there perfect for everyone. If this time didn’t work out, who knows what along the corner or where life will take you. Don’t give up because everything doesn’t go your way.

Learning to love yourself is tough, especially when there’s no one else to show you how. It can be a long process but once you get there you will never look back. Self love is the only love you need.

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If you know me, you know I keep these stupid jars full of amazing memories each year. As it stands 2017 is empty just waiting to be full of adventures. Right now I am in control and I can make these memories as I please. Being single is great I can do anything I want, not that a relationship stops you but being single gives you so much more personal time. And I sure am going to make the most of it.

Confidence in my eye is someones best trait, don’t get me wrong I can’t stand cocky people but there’s nothing wrong with being happy in yourself. For so long I’ve been so negative on my body image, fashion and just everything about me. Being single is (hopefully) going to allow me to develop as a person. I’m 18 still got a lot of life ahead of me, I want to explore the world and grow my confidence by myself. Instead of relying on someone else to lift my spirits I am now going to take responsibility for myself. I am in charge of my own happiness and I’m going to make sure my life is fab.

As much I feel I have rambled on, I do hope people enjoy and find positivity in this post. If it didn’t help anyone else, it doesnt matter. I sure got a a weight of my chest and feel positive for letting everything out and telling myself I will be happy.

H xxx

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47 Comments

  1. Lovely post. I have been single for quite a while since a rocky, long-term relationship and I’m actually quite enjoying it. It’s nice to have time to myself and I’m in no rush to get into another relationship just yet.

    Alice May Snell ♡

  2. Absolutely adore this post, anybody going through a break up or worried about being single needs to read this!

    Abbie | chasingmydesire.com

  3. 18?

    Sweetheart, your whole life is ahead of you
    You will grow and mature
    and get to know the real you
    The beautiful one, classy one, intelligent one, the one with so much value to add, the one who should not accept less or live less than she was created to be.
    I am grateful I didn’t get married at 16.
    I am getting married in April and I am so ready. I wasn’t ready before because I hadn’t discovered what my life would be used for but now I know what I want and who I am.

    Dress up, look good. Have fun. Add value, you are made for more.

    LIVE.

    1. Exactly, so many years ahead of me. I have time to be myself and just have fun! I hope you’re wedding is lovely, congrats xxx

  4. This was so well written, and so true in every sense! It can be scary and hard going through a break up and learning to be alone, but I’ve learned that once you feel confident and good about yourself again- wonderful things are to come! When one door closes, another opens, that’ always been a favourite quote of mine and I think it’s so true. Things will work out in good time xo

    http://mylovelierdays.com

  5. I love this post!! I feel like, finally, after being single for nearly 9 months now I have got to this point where I’m happy being on my own. Funnily enough I want to get to 1 year single as I’ve always been someone to have a significant other. I feel so much more confident and happy within myself and I feel like I can accomplish anything!

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  7. So inspiring, great post. I feel lucky to have never have gone through a break up, but I definitely know how it feels to be alone, having been single all my life intill 4 years ago, I learned early on how to be alone and see it as a sign of strenght instead of weakness. 😀

  8. ‘Self love is the only love you need’, so true! Being selfish is necessary to find out what we want in life. I actually just wrote a post about how to survive a break up, it ,ight help, stay strong girl ❤

  9. The money saved… best argument ever! Being single is okay. I was having a great live when I was single to be honest… all the nights out, the drinking and partying… Sometime I really miss our girls night out… Just to say that society shows the couple has the basis of civilisation and makes not being in a relationship something bad… while being single is just fine. xx Corinne from Corinne & Kirsty

  10. Absolutely love this post. Break-ups are always hard, it hurts that someone you thought cared about you doesn’t want to be with you anymore and the hardest thing I find about being single is not being someone’s priority. But no matter how epic the heartbreak, you will move on and you’re only 18 so you have plenty of time to find someone new! Good luck xx

  11. I can totally relate to this!! Been single for almost 3 years now and it’s been the best 3 years of my life! I quit my job, travelled across America and Italy and am now working freelance for myself, as well as doing part time hours to get more cash! Being in a relationship isn’t everything – although I do believe there is someone out there for me, and there will be someone out there for you too, we’ve just gotta find them, but I believe it will happen when we least expect it, when we’re not looking! Keep being you and the rest will fall into place 🙂 Jess X

  12. I’m thoroughly impressed bc for 18 years old you sure have some wit! You go girl! I’m serious most girls who emerge from a breakup usually just slump and feel sorry for themselves but that’s no way to live. Thinking positive and self love is so crucial to recovering. And from my years of experience, you are 100% right, he just wasn’t meant for you because someone else is. Chin up pretty girl.

    xo, JJ

  13. Harriet, this was so beautiful written and thank you so much for sharing!
    I can definitely relate to this post and you are so right.. it is a lot cheaper LOL.
    Yeah, everything happens for a reason and we only come back stronger after feeling some pain.

    Ashlee | ashleemoyo.blogspot.co.uk

  14. Aww Harriet breakups are some of the most difficult things we experience in life and I’m so sorry it happened to you in such a way 😔 buuuuut it sounds like you have a great positive outlook on life and I think you will be just fine! Being newly single after a long relationship can be really exciting and it’s the perfect time to grow as a person (figuratively, unfortunately for me ahaha) and discover your true self. In a relationship, we tend to lose ourselves so it’s quite refreshing when you get out of one and have all the time and space to explore in life! I only wish I had read this a couple of years ago when I got out of my first real relationship as I’m sure it would have given me a whole new perspective on things. It’s so lovely to share posts like this as it can definitely help others see things more clearly 💖

    Milenka Millie
    millieonhearts.com

    xxx

  15. Wow! I just split with my boyfriend of three years and I cannot believe how spot on this is, I could not have worded it better myself.

    It is time to be selfish and concentrate on yourself and what you want!
    All the best for 2017 girl!
    x

  16. I love this. You’ve worded this so well Hariet and we are just as important as the people we love. Putting yourself first is completely fine and the best thing. I’ve never been with anyone but like you said, the time will come and eventually everything will fall into place if we allow ourselves to be happy and content! Love u so much Harriet, you’re a wonderful, confident and fabulous person. Stay happy n blessed! xxx

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