Sometimes things go wrong

Life isn’t always as we want it. We plan things only for life to turn it around on us. Our hopes and dreams start to disappear and our motivation runs low. But this should not bother us, life is full of downs and it’s how you get over them that counts.

Things haven’t gone the way I planned, but at the end of the day I am still happy and have found new things to do making my life just as good. Don’t be disheartened if life doesn’t go down the path you want it to go. We can’t control everything, but we can brighten up anything.

For me sport as the been one of the biggest things in my life for as long as I can remember. Being brought up by two sporty parents I naturally threw myself at everything. At a young age I developed a strong passion for gymnastics, training for 3+ hours 5 times a week until I reached 13. I still couldn’t get enough and did as much as I can, including hockey and cross country.
After excelling in PE class when I was 15 I decided to try athletics out and within a few months I was set on my event. 400mHurdles. This became almost everything to me, this was what I worked for, what I loved and what crazy thing I did that made me push myself to my limits.

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Unfortunately around 6 months ago I became seriously injured. I had been battling this injury for some time now, it would reoccur every couple of months but by seeing my trusty physio we could always shift the pain. This time was different. We couldn’t fix it. I refused to believe something was wrong and I continued training. After having such a great start to my season I wanted to achieve my goals. So I pushed myself, I was never giving up. So for about a month I worked through the pain, and the big race finally came. Now I would love for this to be one of those stories where I did great and shocked everyone, but sadly is not. I ran my race, bearing my teeth with the pain. Tears streaming down my face but I wasn’t giving up. I finished, 7 seconds slower than my usual times that season, but I still finished. It was then I had to accept something was wrong.

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Later I discovered I had a very unusual knee condition where part of my knuckle has almost ‘died’ from my knee. This has been present since I was 12/13 but has steadily got worse. At first I couldn’t believe it. Why me? Why out of everyone does this have to happen to me? What did I do wrong? I was told my knee was so unstable I could no longer exercise, not even long walks. Without sport, I almost felt my life had no purpose. This was a massive shock to the system. I feared how unfit I was getting. Not only could I feel It, I could also see it. I began to hate my body, and for me there was nothing I could do to fix it. My life was boring, my usual hobbies I was now unable to do. I missed out on seeing my training partners. A piece of me was missing. I let this bother me for a long time, but at some point I realized there was nothing I could of done to prevent it or nothing I could do to fix it. I just had to accept it now. I can’t change it now so why am I letting it get to me. There’s people worse off than me, so why am I letting this get to me. It was time to wake up and still enjoy my life.
Last week I had my operation, I was told it could go either of two ways:

1. Have two pins placed in my knee

2. My knee could be too damaged to put the pins in, and I would require major surgery.

And yes with my luck, it wasn’t successful. Another huge set back.
Yes it sucks, it’s made me so low, but I am not going to let it bother me anymore. I’m stronger than this, I’m going to push through this pain and not let this hold back my happiness.
So now as I wait for my second operation I finally decided I am NOT going to let this put me down. Yes I can’t do what I love anymore, but that doesn’t mean I can’t find new things. My happiness doesn’t come from one thing. I’ll always be counting the time left until I can run again, but I can still enjoy my time in the meantime. Without this injury I would never of even started blogging, now this is what I enjoy and put a lot of my time into and I’m thankful I have.

Keep fighting whatever is upsetting you, big or small. Remember you’re happiness isn’t built on one thing. Our life is full of many good and bad things and it’s all about finding a balance.

H xxx

 

 

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18 Comments

  1. Just found your blog and can already tell I’m going to love it!! Really do admire your for dealing with this injury in the way you are and I hope you’re on the way to improvement x

    1. Thank you so much! I’m so glad you’ve enjoyed it! I’m feeling a lot better now and starting to get back to usual!x

  2. I have been in similar situations. I did Track for over ten years and know how difficult is when you get injured. You work hard because you want to reach up high and all of the sudden something happens and all the hours of practice and hard work go out the window in no time at all. Then you have to start all over again. Sports teach us how to be a fighter and keep working at it until we get where we want. Once that happens we want more and must continue. You are a “runner” that never stops.

    1. I completely get this, the start of the season when I got injured I was racing so strong and it was such a dissapointment as I never got to see what I was capable of that season. Especially since I’m going to be out for over a year, it’s going to take hard work to build up my strength again. Thank you so much πŸ™‚ I won’t stop fighting!

  3. There is a saying in addiction recovery groups, “You can plan the plan but you cannot plan the outcome”. I have recently written a piece on my blog, The Inner MIRROR, about the ripples caused by addiction and death. While you still have a lot of life ahead of you, do not downplay the grieving process that is part of change. This is a beautiful piece and I know first-hand how healing it can be to write and post your feelings. It also helps others too. I found this post on Community Pool. Keep writing and keep swimming in this pool!!

  4. This is so well written! I am so impressed by your strength in the face of tribulation!
    I found you on Community pool, it is such a great way to discover what other bloggers are doing creatively with their blogs. I was wondering if it was possible for you to read one of my blogs at https://thebluntstudent.wordpress.com. I’ve just started out and would love to get some feedback on my writing.

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